The Best & The Brightest....

I had a really great conversation with a few of my fellow science faculty at lunch the other day and I've been thinking about this conversation ever since. Rebecca was reporting on a journal article that she read about a study performed on students in N.Virginia vs. students in Denmark. Both sets of students were given the exact same test (bio maybe, or chem) and then asked how they thought they did. The American students said, for the most part, that they aced it and did a great job. The Denmark students said that they thought they did pretty well for the most part. The students from Denmark did do pretty well, for the most part. The American students, however, collectively bombed the test. The actual results of the test were not the focus, but the perception of achievement. There are studies being done right now with all the data pointing to the idea that American children have been so inflated by their parents and the way that they are raised that they have a skewed view of reality and of themselves. For instance, the majority of these students are having the tendency to believe that they are much smarter and more gifted than they truly are. The researchers are correlating this with the way these American students have been raised. This generation of student/child has been raised to think that each and every one of them is the best and the brightest as well as the most skilled athlete by the constant praise of their parents.
I have to admit that i too am guilty of this. I find myself telling Cyrus all the time how smart he is, because he truly is, or at least I think he is as I have never lived with a 2 year old before. However, that is beside the point. Our discussion lent itself to how we motivate and praise our children vs. how we should. For instance, instead of telling Cyrus how smart he is, it would be more effective to tell him that I think he is a great worker or that I appreciate his motivation and effort. It seems silly but it makes sense. Children have no control over their "smartness" so when you tell them they are smart, they internally begin to believe that they are smart simply because and they don't really need to work on that. However, when you say, I really like the way that you are super motivated while working on that project, well, that is something praiseworthy and something tangible, that he can truly develop and work on. Same with athletics, we have morphed into a society where every kid makes the team, regardless of ability and while I understand why it started, I think it does an injustice to the kids. I vividly remember sitting by the phone, waiting to see if I made the traveling team when I cheered for PAL when I was young. I didn't make the team, because I sucked. I found swimming instead and I'm grateful. For me, and our family, I would rather be positive and honest with Cyrus so that when he grows up and moves away he's not thrown to the wolves so to speak when he is surrounded by people, including his boss, that recognize that he is less than perfect.